Eating Together

When our youngest daughter and her children were with us for a few days recently, it reminded me of the importance of the family meal.

Now a lot has been said about the importance of this over the years, but what occurred to me recently is the social aspect of it and what children learn from it.

Children learn a lot around the dinner table.  They absorb appropriate adult behavior (hopefully) as it is modeled for them.  They learn about sharing food, taking turns to talk, feeding themselves, proper table manners and focusing, not to mention the content they take in from the discussions they hear and how to interact with people in a setting that isn’t about school or play or sports.  They learn everything isn’t about them.

And it really doesn’t matter how old the children are.

Now, more than ever, parents and children have a better opportunity to plan their meals and eat together.  Too often I have heard that family members go into their separate rooms to do their own thing while they eat. This is really not good for anyone.

Even if you have a picky eater who doesn’t want to have what is being served, they learn to either eat it or go without.  Plus, they learn that being part of the family means being with the family, even if you choose not to eat.

I hope we are not an anomaly, but the family meal preceded any individual activities in our house.  While we could be flexible with dinner times if necessary, the family meal was the priority.  The same went for supporting a sibling’s activity over and above what you felt like doing.  It didn’t matter if you were interested in what your sibling was doing, you did it for them.  Go to their play, recital or ballgame, just because.

All of this, I believe, was an early lesson in understanding the importance of the common good.  The common good of the family—to be together—can be modeled by doing this (eventually this will lead to a mature understanding of the common good of the community and so forth.)

While it may be even more difficult today with kids running in every direction, it is really worth the effort for the long-term benefits.

It’s like religious education.  When I was working in parish life, I had parents who made it a priority.  They would require their kids to attend their class, the sacraments, and any related event, before anything else, even if it meant they might miss a practice or sleeping in or whatever.

I suspect we have lost a sense of this, the idea of putting someone else’s interests before your own, but it really is the best way to form young people to become caring, selfless adults.

This is something to think about in these days of staying home and staying safe.  Maybe it is a good time for you to be able to re-shape some of the habits your family has gotten into.

And when you think about it, we really need no better model than Jesus, who obviously thought sharing a meal with his closest friends was a good thing—something he continues to do with us today at every Eucharistic banquet, known as the Mass.

Janet Cassidy
janetcassidy.blogspot.com
janetcassidy.blubrry.net