After all these years

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After 38 years of marriage, I have noticed that somewhere along the way I started speaking in terms of we, as if we share one thought or make one decision.

Let me explain.

Awhile back when I was talking to my husband about something ordinary—saving coupons—I caught myself saying, “Are we saving coupons for this store?  We don’t like them, do we?”

I spoke as if we were so unified that we shared one thought, as if we think with one mind. 

I’m not sure when that started because I just noticed it the other day.

Now don’t get me wrong, we do often think alike, but we have plenty of separate ideas as well.  While we don’t always speak as if our brains are completely fused, I did have to laugh when I realized what I did.

The thing about the covenant of marriage is that it does take two people and God to make them one—and they do, indeed, create a unique union. Not necessarily in the way I’ve described above—when making decisions about coupons—but definitely uniquely.

When a couple marries sacramentally, assuming there is nothing standing in the way to prevent them from marrying, the covenant they make to each other, before God and with God, seals them for life.  When, with great effort, they must face the challenges of family life, it is God who will carry them through.  All they have to do is turn to him and he will pour out his grace on them and sustain them.

One thing you can count on in married life is unexpected things will happen.  How you respond to them and get through them will ultimately depend on your commitment to the promise you have made to each other. 

Some couples dress up their “I do’s” with a lot of fancy decorations.  So much so that sometimes their commitment to each other is rather hidden.  But the reality is, when you get married, you are telling God and the whole world that you will love and cherish this person until the day you die.

Since this union you are making is definitely worthy of a great celebration, you should celebrate it, but it is very important not to let the “window dressings” of a big, fancy wedding become the main attraction.  When you, with two little words, make the biggest promise of your life, it will be through the support of your friends & family, and your trust in God, that you will keep it.  It really won’t matter if you used lilies or roses in your wedding bouquet.

I was watching a video recently about a guy that wanted to play a prank on his friend. 

What was the prank? 

He married his friend’s mother.  They actually, legally got married. There were all the jokes about him being his friend’s stepdad and so forth, but it was a terrible mockery of marriage. 

I’m all for fun, but getting married as a joke, doesn’t count as a good time.

A wedding may take place in a day, but a marriage is for life.  Prepare yourselves for that.

Janet Cassidy
janetcassidy.blogspot.com
janetcassidy.blubrry.net

*Photo:  Media Source

 

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