I Don't Know How To Stop
I feel whiny today. Yesterday, I cried. Why, oh why, do I have to slow down? I hate it. I want to stay busy. Everyone who cares about me annoys me by trying to get me to stop. I want them to go away, since I'm too busy for them anyway. My therapist said I need more breaks in my day to take care of myself. My spiritual director said I need to keep doing Eucharistic Adoration for the next three months and then we'll re-evaluate whether I need to continue. I don't have to obey what he says, but I'm not seeking direction because I'm a genius at how to grow spiritually. My talents lie more in the realm of driving myself to the edge of psychosis and back. So, I agreed and I do what I agree to do. I realize that what I want isn't always what I need. I don't want to slow down. It's almost as if I feel the world will come to an end if I do. I used to play computer games non-stop at night, five and six hours at a time, to de-stress. But, tha