Should I Mantilla?
Lately, I've been debating with myself (and my family) about whether
or not to wear a mantilla at Mass. Part of me wants to veil and the
other part of me is too chicken and self-conscious. The style of my
parish church is very modern and minimalist and doesn't lend itself to
inspiring any woman to cover her head.
"Why do you want to wear a mantilla?" My older daughter asked me this question yesterday when I brought the subject up again.
Why indeed. I've read this blog, Will You Mantilla With Me?. It makes a strong case for covering up, reasons which I like: reverence, respect, humility, purity, solemnity, imitation of Mary. A reminder that I am participating in something much bigger than myself. An external representation of my belief in the Real Presence of Jesus in the Eucharist. (And maybe I want a reason to wear a lovely piece of lace).
So why am I still hesitating? Pride and fear. I'm worried about what other parishioners will think. My inner teenager is causing me angst over this. Really, I need to get over myself and just do it.
My beloved thinks it's a great idea. My kids say that if I want to do it, I should. #5's response when I said I would feel self-conscious was, "Who cares. Wear one if you want. No one's gonna call you out on it." How'd you get so wise, #5?
Famous women have worn a mantilla when meeting Bl. John-Paul II and Pope Benedict. The late Princess Diana, Laura Bush, even Michelle Obama have all donned the head covering.
I should ask Wise Friend what he thinks, although I'm pretty sure I know what he'd say. After all, he's always wearing his cassock.
A few years ago, my mother gave me her beautiful black lace mantilla. At the time, it held no significance for me other than it belonged to my mom. It was a beautiful piece of rectangular lace. I've been looking for it over the last couple of weeks but I can't find it. Even St. Anthony hasn't been able to help. Maybe it's providential that a seamstress friend who wears a mantilla at Mass has offered to make one for me.
The most important reason for wearing a mantilla is to humble myself before the Blessed Sacrament so I should just get over my self-consciousness and fear of others' opinions and focus on what's important - the solemnity of Holy Mass. What better way is there to profess, like John the Baptist, "He must increase; I must decrease" than by covering my head in humility before God.
Here are some questions I hope you can answer: Do you wear a mantilla? Did you feel self-conscious at first? What would you say to someone like me who's hesitating? How do you keep it from slipping off?
http://youtu.be/aK3A23yVGAg
"Why do you want to wear a mantilla?" My older daughter asked me this question yesterday when I brought the subject up again.
Why indeed. I've read this blog, Will You Mantilla With Me?. It makes a strong case for covering up, reasons which I like: reverence, respect, humility, purity, solemnity, imitation of Mary. A reminder that I am participating in something much bigger than myself. An external representation of my belief in the Real Presence of Jesus in the Eucharist. (And maybe I want a reason to wear a lovely piece of lace).
So why am I still hesitating? Pride and fear. I'm worried about what other parishioners will think. My inner teenager is causing me angst over this. Really, I need to get over myself and just do it.
My beloved thinks it's a great idea. My kids say that if I want to do it, I should. #5's response when I said I would feel self-conscious was, "Who cares. Wear one if you want. No one's gonna call you out on it." How'd you get so wise, #5?
Famous women have worn a mantilla when meeting Bl. John-Paul II and Pope Benedict. The late Princess Diana, Laura Bush, even Michelle Obama have all donned the head covering.
I should ask Wise Friend what he thinks, although I'm pretty sure I know what he'd say. After all, he's always wearing his cassock.
A few years ago, my mother gave me her beautiful black lace mantilla. At the time, it held no significance for me other than it belonged to my mom. It was a beautiful piece of rectangular lace. I've been looking for it over the last couple of weeks but I can't find it. Even St. Anthony hasn't been able to help. Maybe it's providential that a seamstress friend who wears a mantilla at Mass has offered to make one for me.
The most important reason for wearing a mantilla is to humble myself before the Blessed Sacrament so I should just get over my self-consciousness and fear of others' opinions and focus on what's important - the solemnity of Holy Mass. What better way is there to profess, like John the Baptist, "He must increase; I must decrease" than by covering my head in humility before God.
Here are some questions I hope you can answer: Do you wear a mantilla? Did you feel self-conscious at first? What would you say to someone like me who's hesitating? How do you keep it from slipping off?
Deo Gratias
Do you wear it like this young woman does?http://youtu.be/aK3A23yVGAg
In all such matters as this, which does not involve a sinful matter and which is not required, I tend to follow the adage, "When in Rome, do as the Romans do." I really believe the people who attend Mass, the assembly, and the individuals there, ought not to do things or wear things that make them noticeable or a distraction to others. So if it's rare for women to wear a veil then I would not. If it's the custom, then I would. I try to be detached from my personal preferences. The Lord knows one's heart.
ReplyDeleteI wear a mantilla if I go to a more conservative church, such as the church that belongs to the Dominicans in DC. I don't wear a mantilla at my home parish because it is much less conservative, and I do not want to distract others from their prayer by wondering what that 20 year old is doing with black lace on her head.
ReplyDeleteI am going to disagree with Ruth (sorry!) and say go for it! Who cares if there's only a few people there wearing one. If you are wearing one out of reverence for God, the other people should not matter. One thing Marian apparitions have in common is that she is seen wearing some form of head covering. So why not follow this great example!?! Oftentimes, my sister and I (both in our mid-20s) are the only ones who wear a mantilla to mass...and you know what? These days, I feel like there is something missing if I don't wear it or if I forget it at home. I am still relatively new to the donning of the mantilla...but it has been one of the best decisions I have made. I did feel self-conscious at first...but that feeling goes away relatively quickly and there's a lot to be said for some of the nostalgic looks I get from the older mass attendants. I say go for it! There is nothing to lose and there is certainly no shame in trying and finding out that it is not for you. I never had my mantilla fall off...but I am constantly adjusting it to ensure that it doesn't fall off. However, I have heard of people clipping it to their hair or sewing in little combs. Best wishes and God bless!
ReplyDeleteFor more thoughts: http://thecatholicsciencegeek.blogspot.com/2011/03/old-school-mantilla-style.html
Hello, Catholic Science Geek, (I'm a bit of a Geek myself.) No need to apologize for disagreeing with my comment. The author of this post asked our opinion, and I gave mine. You gave yours. Notice I didn't talk about what other people will think, but maybe you inferred that when I mentioned being a source of distraction. Besides veils, people wear and do other things that are distracting, and I'm speaking generally about any distractions. I believe that in some settings a mantilla would be one of them, but not in all settings.
DeleteWe live in a world of many distractions that take our minds away from concentrating on God regardless of where we are. When I enter church, it is always with the hope that the environment will help me remember my purpose for being there---worshiping God. Today I sat in the front row, and my only distraction was watching the new altar server trying so carefully to do his "job" and not forget his responsibilities!
YES! Mantilla!! I wear one at a church and I am the only one - but I DON'T GIVE A HANG WHAT ANYONE THINKS! I wear it for my GOD AND MY KING!! You are 100% right about it showing purity, humility, and your religious life will blossom if you wear it for these reasons. Here is my blogpost about my Mantilla! http://thecommunionveil.blogspot.com/2012/06/be-contradiction.html
ReplyDeleteWithout a doubt, Adele, your reasons for wearing a mantilla are appropriately pious, and I mean that as a compliment.
DeleteAs a young person, I and all Catholic girls and women in my diocese, and, I believe, throughout the world, wore a head covering inside church. Some wore hats. Some wore veils. This was the custom of the time. Never once was I told that this custom had to do with showing purity or humility. If anything, it was an act of obedience to a rule imposed by Mother Church. One never even entered a church without the head covering, even if going in for a little "visit" with the Lord. This may sound ridiculous, but if we found ourselves without a head covering and wanted to enter the church, we put a paper Kleenex tissue on our head!
When I was a young adult this rule was lifted. It felt odd, at first, not to wear a head covering, but like anything, we got used to it.
I too have seen Will you mantilla with me? \i found it while exploring the whole veiling issue, I was raised a in the church of england, as a high church goer or anglo-catholic and then in Wales I attented church in Wales services, but I always felt something was missing.
ReplyDeleteWe found our home in the Catholic Church but Ive always felt lacking in showing my reference and faith without a veil.Ive seen old pictures and can remember when everyone stopped wearing hats to anglican services.I dithered about covering, thinking about all the arguments above, but in the end realised I felt obliged to do it by something outside myself.
I took the plunge with a chiffon sarong! small and the only suitable black cloth I could find, I held it in place with a hairclip and have now bought and made my own lace veil with sewn in comb. No one has said a word at church although I am the only veil wearer,another lady is a proud hat wearer and we get old ladies in warm scarves and wooly hats in winter. So I say do it, its not for us its because we want to show Him our devotion.
I think you should if you feel it provides more reverence. Frankly I think men should wear yamulkas in church as Jews wear them in synogogues. God deserves full reverence.
ReplyDelete