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Back From The Edge

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Many of us never know how close we have come to going to hell.  I found out today just how close I really came to being in the place of eternal torment.  Really close.

When my husband was alive I had come back to the Catholic Church and I prayed my Rosary and loved to spend time with our Lord in the Blessed Sacrament.  After my husband died, everything hurt, and I mean everything.  Little things like going to the grocery store or watching t.v. was painful, and yes going to church was painful too because everywhere I was, I could feel his absence.  (He never went to church with me, but I prayed for him much there.) 

Well, after his death, I was hurting so bad, that I just didn't care about anything, myself included.  All I wanted was to not hurt just for a little while.  I worked 50 hours a week, because I knew if I kept busy the 'demon' of sadness was kept at bay.  (There is a physical law that you can't think of two things at the same time, so the busier I was, the bett…