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NFP in the Trenches- Changing the Conversation

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NFP is billed as a magical system that helps unite a couple and foster deep communication, even during times of abstinence. The Couple to Couple League International’s website is full of words like “liberating”, “selfless”, “empowering”, “teamwork”, and “enriching”. Our peppy instructors seemed so in love, so confident, and so in sync with each other. NFP was clearly my ticket to marital bliss. So why then, is practicing NFP actually so miserable? The frustration, arguments, frigidity, distrust, and temptation of using NFP is by no means the rare exception. This is not what we were promised! But nevertheless, we continue using NFP, cuz it beats the alternatives, right? And when people complain, sometimes they are met with a sympathetic, “yeah, I know it sucks, don’t it?” but more often they are met with, “Offer it up.” Both accurate responses, I think. But neither one is particularly helpful. It’s time to stop sugarcoating NFP. We need to start being honest about what it act...

I Am More Than My Desire

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I am a woman who desires men, but I don't define myself that way. Who I am depends equally as much on the parents who raised me, the town where I grew up, and the schools I attended. I am an introverted and somewhat socially awkward intellectual, who likes Renaissance music, science fiction, and macaroni and cheese. I am all of these things and I like all of these things completely apart from my heterosexuality. I could identify myself as a Virginian born-and-bred or a New York transplant, as a blogger or a lawyer or a stay-at-home mom, but these categories don't constrain or pigeon-hole me. On a deeper level, I am a former WASP turned Catholic convert. I am a baptized Christian who bears on my brow and in my soul the seal of Him who died. I am bound to my husband through the Sacrament of Matrimony, and in some mystical way we have been made one. On a still deeper level, I am a creature of God brought into existence out of love and because He has a special plan for me. S...

It's All About the Bones

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A number of years ago I read von Hildebrand’s Privilege of Being a Woman . To say it was life-changing would be an understatement. Of course, there is a saying that “when the student is ready the teacher will appear” and that may have well been the case with Alice’s book. As a grown woman I can safely say that I was ready for the truth that was found in her words—hence “life-changing.” The problem with life-changing experiences, per se, is that they sort of leave you wondering “Now what? Where do I go from here?” In the years since reading Privilege of Being a Woman I have read countless other non-fiction books that have been touted as “must reads” and yet without exception each has left me feeling a bit empty. Not quite doing it for me. They are okay, don’t get me wrong; but of the caliber of the von Hildebrand book? Nope. And I know they serve a purpose—but I have yearned for something more than a book that seems to be a mere collection of blog articles (as a dear friend ...