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I did not plan on having a  large family ; I had never even held a baby before our firstborn. I had moved east with Michael after our first baby was born, which cut me off from daily contact with friends and family. Although I enjoyed living in the country, raising our own vegetables and later even all our own meat, it was an  isolated existence . I felt like  Ruth  in a foreign land but without family support because Michael’s mother was busy with a huge extended family. In addition, my husband struggled with depression. Worldly opinion screamed we should not have any more children. The question we had struggled with for years was,“How could we remain faithful to Church teaching when Natural Family Planning did not seem to work for us?” continue reading

The question we had struggled with for years was,“How could we remain faithful to Church teaching when Natural Family Planning did not seem to work for us?” Intuitively, I already knew a call to trust in God could not just be an intellectual assent but included  entrusting my fertility to God . Catholic teaching stated couples should space their children with abstinence but we slowly discovered I was one of those rare people who could conceive long before ovulation and we were pro-life, abortion was not an option. My doctor, after considering another unplanned pregnancy told us “Ah, I remember reading about a woman in New Zealand two years ago who conceived five days before ovulation.” I raised my hand and chirped, “Well, you can add me to that list!”  continue

By the time I was pregnant with my sixth child, I was desperate to find a supportive family doctor and obstetrician. Four of my five children had been delivered by Dr. Leslie E.,  a brilliant, strong feminist.  As a mother of a growing family, I was an enigma to her as she was to me. In her office, successful professional women waited for gynecological care and women in their late thirties or early forties were pregnant with their first child.  I felt like every eye was on me when I walked through her door for my first visit, pregnant with a toddler on my hip and by my last visit with three or four other children clustered around me. Birth control devices enshrined on this doctor’s desk, encased in glass, seemed to glare at me every time I sat across from her. After one visit, this obstetrician said, in what I hope was a teasing tone, “Would you quit bringing your  beautiful children  to my office. Someone always wants a reversal (from...

A friend sent me the most amusing video, a song composed by a family of 12, sung to the tune of the Christmas carol, "The 12 Days of Christmas". It is hilarious because , as a mother of nine, I have heard all these phrases for decades. listen and enjoy. The very existence of a joyful mother of nine children seems to confound people. When the words  The Joy Of Mothering  popped into my head as a title for my short stories it was like an epiphany for me because those few words verbalized my experience living with little people. The very existence of a joyful mother of nine children seems to confound people.                    continue reading

After moving to the Ottawa Valley with our first child, my new obstetrician was a brilliant, strong, feminist. Although she did have tropical fish and a parrot, she did not have any children of her own; I was an enigma to her as she was to me.   In her office, successful professional women waited for gynecological care and women in their late thirties or early forties, pregnant their first child. Then, I walked through her door for my first visit, pregnant with one toddler on my hip and by my last visit with three or four other children clustered around me.   Enshrined on my doctor’s desk and encased in glass were birth control devices that glared at me every time I sat across from her. After one visit, my obstetrician said, in what I hope was a teasing tone, “Would you quit bringing your beautiful children to my office. Someone always wants a  reversal  (from tubal ligation) after you leave ”. continue

I decided to post  one of my articles on the struggles of a mother of nine as a complementary article to  Melody's reflections on infertility. After the birth of our fourth child, Michael and I struggled to understand exactly how we were  meant to live our lives. We were discussing an article by an author whose main premise was that letting go of control and trusting in God was not some abstract principle but a day-to-day practical call that included the surrender of our fertility. Of course, we practised natural family planning but I was one of those rare people who could conceive long before ovulation. As my doctor said once, “Ah, I remember reading about a woman in New Zealand, two years ago, who conceived five days before ovulation.” I raised my hand and chirped, “Well, you can add me to that list!” continue reading

Listen as I struggled to gather my crew every night for a family meal. “Oh good, you’re done barn chores. Perfect timing; dinner is almost ready.” “Two more minutes, everybody!” “Joseph I’ll help after we eat, okay?” “Mary, please run up and open Jean’s door and shut off the music.” ‘Dinner is ready!” “Grace, I know you love that book sweetheart but, remember, no reading at the dinner table.” “Where’s Mark?” “Honey would you lift up Daniel into the high chair?” “Are we all here? Anyone missing?” Ah, dinner time in a large family. Dinner was the highlight of the day with everyone clamoring to share their news or simply squeeze in comments into the cacophony of voices. It was a humorous symphony which sounded perfectly in tune to my ears. High pitched baby squeals combined with loud, boisterous little boys.and the quavering of a male teen voice balanced teenage girl’s chatter. Dad’s reassuring bass tones soothed my shrill calls for everyone to listen to the todd...

how society pictured me Perhaps I have finally discovered a label to describe myself – a pro-life feminist. At first glance theses two terms seem to oppose each other but true feminism is not the antithesis of motherhood or a pro-life stance. Contrary to standard stereotypes, one is pro-woman    precisely when one is pro-life. My story is simply a witness of a woman who discovered a liberation as a mother of a large family. I am a conundrum because I am a joyful mother of nine children. I feel  vilified by modern environmentalists as well as ‘feminist’ career women and of course beatified by the religious right at the same time. Most people of all persuasions, expect me to appear haggard and  filled with regret or unfulfilled dreams . For example, when a journalist interviewed me for an article on Mother’s Day a few years ago for our city’s major paper, she asked me if I ever regretted not using my degree to pursue a career. I simply stared at her in shock ...

I am conundrum. A rather outmoded sort of woman, ridiculed by modern career women, vilified by the earth’s prophets of doom and sanctified by the religious right. I was the least likely candidate to have a lot of children.I mean, I had never even held a baby before my first born.You would think having nine children would have turned me into a frazzled wreck with a figure like the Pillsbury Dough Boy and a brain gone to mush, but I remain quite articulate, with a quirky sense of humour, standing at 5’1” and weighing in at 106 lbs. Not quite a rosy-cheeked, robust, matronly looking mother of a large brood. When the words  The Joy of Mothering  popped into my head as a sub-title for my short stories, it was like an epiphany for me because those few words verbalize my experience living with little people. The very existence of a joyful mother of nine children seems to confound people. Embracing an outdated lifestyle on a traditional, small, family farm has ...

Large families are an anomaly in desperate need of an advocate in modern society. A writing prompt on a health website asked, ”Are you an advocate for any cause?” I sputtered to myself, ”I am not an advocate for anything or anybody!” Immediately after that statement, a new idea popped into my mind, ”Hey, wait a minute. I stand up for large families in modern society!” Thoughts on Large Families In my experience as a mother of nine children, I have met more condemnation than acceptance and more questions that understanding. Perhaps it is because I do not look like the mother of a large family. I am tiny, look younger than my age, and all my life people have labelled me as cute. People’s first reaction to me is shock. Confusion follows because I am happy. A joyful, cute, tiny mother of nine simply baffles people. I shatter all their preconceived notions. The typical image of a multipara woman would be a large, matronly, robust, grim, battle-...

When the cover story of  Time magazine  brags that having it all means not having children, the culture badly needs a reminder that getting married and having kids is actually a good idea. That having children, whether one or five or ten, is not only praiseworthy but worth it. The percentage of childless couples has nearly doubled since 1980, and  the percentage of families with three or more kids has dropped by almost half.  Today's burning question is no longer why would any couple want to remain childless. It's why would anyone want more than one or two. Big Hearted , by Patti Armstrong and Theresa Thomas, answers that question in a collection of moving, true-life stories, each one more inspirational than the last. The stories in  Big Hearted  open up a window into the private thoughts and feelings of parents of large families. Not all of them love babies, although some of them do. Some mothers walk away from corporate jobs without a backwards glance...

The very existence of a joyful mother of nine children seems to confound people. When the words  The Joy Of Mothering  popped into my head as a title for my short stories it was like an epiphany for me because those few words verbalized my experience living with little people. The very existence of a joyful mother of nine children seems to confound people. However, it has been far from easy, rather it has been a long journey through confusion, guilt and public condemnation to reach the point where I can now shout loudly, "This is my call, this is my vocation, this is my witness to the world." After the birth of our fourth child, Michael and I struggled to understand exactly how we were meant to live our lives. We were discussing an article by an author whose main premise was that letting go of control and trusting in God was not some abstract principle but a day-to-day practical call that included the surrender of our fertility. Of course we practised natural fam...