What I Want You to Know (@ Melody's Harmonies)

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There are days that go by when I forget that we’re trying and failing at growing our family and then there are days when I can barely keep my head above water. Unfortunately the latter makes up the bulk of our days.  

 There are so many things I want you to know about this experience that I don’t even know where to start. I want you to know how stupid I feel for daring to make any plans for our life when we were first married. I want you to know how I wish we’d never tried to avoid a pregnancy in the beginning, and how looking back, I’d give anything for a mistake that would have resulted in an unplanned pregnancy. I want you to know it breaks my heart when I hear of unwanted, abandoned or aborted children. I want you to know that I would take each and every one of those children because I want them. I want you to know hard it is to plan anything or make any decision about our future when we wish so much that our present was different.   

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