NFP in the Trenches- Changing the Conversation

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NFP is billed as a magical system that helps unite a couple and foster deep communication, even during times of abstinence. The Couple to Couple League International’s website is full of words like “liberating”, “selfless”, “empowering”, “teamwork”, and “enriching”. Our peppy instructors seemed so in love, so confident, and so in sync with each other. NFP was clearly my ticket to marital bliss.
So why then, is practicing NFP actually so miserable?
The frustration, arguments, frigidity, distrust, and temptation of using NFP is by no means the rare exception. This is not what we were promised! But nevertheless, we continue using NFP, cuz it beats the alternatives, right?
And when people complain, sometimes they are met with a sympathetic, “yeah, I know it sucks, don’t it?” but more often they are met with, “Offer it up.” Both accurate responses, I think. But neither one is particularly helpful.
It’s time to stop sugarcoating NFP. We need to start being honest about what it actually looks like in practice, and not just for the poster children.
We the few, the proud, the NFP users, will never give up and jump on the artificial birth control wagon, because we know our marriages are about more than just us. We know and trust that God has our best interests and our sanctification in mind when He gives us a commandment. But on a bad day, that is a poor comfort, and I don’t think God means for us to just mope about while doing His will. I think He means for us to serve Him with joy.

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