Finding Balance

 I was remembering recently that my brothers, spouses and kids would quite regularly visit around my mom's dining room table on Sunday nights.  When she moved to a nursing home, we simply moved our gatherings there, sometimes adding in time over a puzzle in the activities room.

I miss those times.  Now, instead of going in for our weekly visits, I visit her grave.  Let me just say, although I can still talk to her, I don't have to tell you it's not the same.  I miss her desperately.

There's something about losing a parent that opens a hole in your heart.  Moms, like mine, can be such great listeners.  And they are great supporters.  And they are great reminders that no matter your troubles, things will be okay.  It's like they are the great stabilizer.

Yes, that's the word.  Moms are the great stabilizer.

One of the books I got from my recent trip to the library is about Cokie Roberts.  Some of you may remember her as a very savvy political commentator.  She died about a week after my mom in 2019.  Cokie was a tremendous supporter of women and quite a feminist democrat.  I'm not sure we would have shared a lot of views, except that she was a devout Catholic and placed family as a high priority.

You know how big I am about quotes, well, this one was interesting.  She and her husband were busy reporters.  On the go and sometimes not at home for the kids.  She described her own mom as a great "guilt eraser."  Whenever Cokie felt bad about working late, her mom would tell her, about her kids, "They'll be fine."  Turns out, they seem to be sound adults.

Anyway, with all of this work and family responsibility, we might be tempted to say the balance between the two would be challenging, but she put it another way.  She was traditional in her views of family life, but she needed to have her own voice and an outlet for her creativity.  She came to realize that she couldn't do full-time mothering without working.

In an interview with a reporter, it was said, that, "the challenge to this type of woman lies in how to achieve balance between her family and herself."

Between family and herself!  Not between work and family?  I thought this was so interesting.  She knew what she needed to be happy (being between jobs was quite depressing for her) and she had to consider this in the arrangement of her life.

When you think about balance in your life, what are the elements you are balancing?  And, do you know yourself well enough to make room for what keeps your balance?  Cokie must have been able to communicate her needs to her husband, because they managed to make arrangements for over 50 years to make it work.

I think too often, people give up on marriage today.  They think if their marriage is not providing them personal satisfaction, then it must end.  Rather than working these things out with their spouse so that family life is balanced with individuals' needs, they just call it quits.

Work towards balance in your life.  Don't just give up.  Figure out how to grow in the same direction.  If an independent Catholic woman like Cokie, married to a lifelong Jewish man can figure it out, I'll bet you can, too.

*Please read below for information about a disturbing veto that just took place in Michigan that works against helping pregnant and parenting moms.

Janet Cassidy
janetcassidy.com
#balance
#workingmoms
#prolife
#prochoice

*I think pro-lifers and pro-choicers need to find common ground--that being seeking out ways to help pregnant and parenting moms so as to support them and their baby.  The Governor of Michigan just vetoed a line in our state education budget that would have provided "$1 million total for colleges and universities to establish service centers for students who are pregnant, or who are parents to help connect them with needed resources."

You can read more below, which comes from Catholic Advocacy Network.  

Is it better to withhold support for thousands of women because of one Governor's agenda?  She clearly is unwilling to open her mind to helping all women.  She only advocates support for women seeking abortion and will sacrifice a ton of help for those who do not.  So sad.

What does this Governor have against life anyway?

Money to Help Pregnant College Students Vetoed from Budget

Gov. Gretchen Whitmer vetoed funding in the state education budget that would have helped universities and community colleges support pregnant women who are students. The Legislature sent the Governor an education spending bill that included $1 million total for colleges and universities to establish service centers for students who are pregnant, or who are parents to help connect them with needed resources, according to an analysis of the bill. However, the Governor, in a letter explaining her use of a line-item veto on that funding, said she was rejecting budget provisions that "harm women's health care." Whitmer explained the language would create a "gag rule" preventing service providers from "even mentioning abortion and otherwise make it harder for women to get the health care they need." The budget language had said the centers could not refer for abortions. Rather, the centers could refer students to services like prenatal care and delivery and foster care adoption, which would recognize the dignity and humanity of both the mother and the child she is carrying and represent services that would help both mother and baby. Rep. Tom Albert (R-Lowell), the House budget committee chair, told The Detroit News in response to Whitmer's veto of this funding that "many pregnant women may need assistance to continue work on earning their degrees, and the resources the governor vetoed today would have helped them," and noted that the Governor is only interested in choice when it comes to "the deadly choice that ends a human life."