He's a Good Boy?

It never seems to fail.  I hear a story about someone who goes into a business, or school, or wherever, and shoots the place up, and I hear a quote from the mom, "He's a good boy."

This always catches my attention, and if I am being honest, I mostly believe her.  Mothers (and fathers, too, I'm sure) see the person they raised.  Through all of their faults and quirks, they have loved them.  The "good boy" is the one who gave her so many hugs, so many reasons to smile, as well as endless nights of worry over the years.

Under every shooter, pedophile or arsonist is a person, a real person, who is tragically impaired in some way.  Sometimes those around them notice something is off, but other times, they don't have a clue. But my point is, naturally, for most of us, it can be pretty hard to see past the evil act and see the person--"the good boy"-- underneath.

But this is exactly what we need to do--or at least try as best we can.

Seeing the person underneath is not excusing what they have done.  It doesn't mean we just look the other way and with a false idea of forgiveness, dismiss their action out of a skewed sense of charity.

No, we see the reality of the situation.  We recognize that too often they have willingly given their consent, acted irresponsibly or made a devastatingly terrible decision.  In fact, we should even acknowledge, when relevant, that evil and hatred were chosen.

Yet still, somehow, we need to see the human being.  If forgiveness is too big of a step, then maybe seeing them as someone's son or daughter, or brother or sister, might be a start.

I honestly think that some people are "victims" of their upbringing.  While you cannot always assume negligent parents raised these adults (many people have negligent parents yet still do not become murderers), we certainly can look to their history, isolation, addiction, mental illness or a multitude of other things, in totality, to get a sense of how they became who they are.

I guess what I am trying to say is that it is the rare person, in a normal state of mind, who goes out and does terrible things, but it is a person.  Someone who was brought into this world, innocent, created by God.  And while we cannot always figure out what happened along the way, we can certainly do better seeing their humanity.

I like to watch the show Blue Bloods, which centers on police work and two particular detectives.  It's a good show, but I cringe every time one of the main detectives refers to the criminal he is arresting as a "lying sack of crap," or something like that.  I always think his line does exactly what I am saying we need to be careful about--dismissing one's humanity.

Something to think about . . .

Janet Cassidy