An upsetting phone call

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I'm going to apologize in advance to those of you who consider the following remarks offensive. Please don't take them as me disrespecting you, it's just that, to my ear, referring to an individual with a plural pronoun doesn't work.

I had someone call the house the other day to ask about some supplies for our son.  The caller referred to him as "they."  At first I was confused and thought I heard her wrong, but when she did it again, I caught on, and asked her politely to refer to him as he.

I just can't handle an individual being referred to plurally. It's just poor grammar, that's all.

Well, I suppose, that's not really all there is to it.

I had a friend kindly explain to me a while back why she chose to use plural pronouns at her daughter's request.  She said she couldn't stand to cause her daughter more pain than she was already experiencing, so out of love and respect for her daughter, she acquiesced. 

Who wouldn't understand her reasoning?

According to Richard Budd, Director of the Office of Marriage and Family Life for the Diocese of Lansing, and co-author of the Diocese's January 15, 2021 guidelines:

“Gender dysphoria is a real psychological condition which causes real human suffering that has to be met with genuine compassion, rooted in truth and love, and accompanied by the highest standards of pastoral care.”

These guidelines, "Love, Truth & Authentic Happiness: A new policy on the Human Person and Gender Dysphoria" are very helpful.

While providing the "highest standard of care" we must reaffirm "the immutable realities of human anthropology--that we are created male and female."

There are those who proselytize "especially among the young, on behalf of false and harmful 'gender ideologies' . . . that male and female are merely social constructs."

In 2016, Pope Francis said that "the young need to be helped to accept their own body as it was created." (Amoris Laetitia)

Budd continues, “Informed by faith and reason, the Church teaches that our differences as male and female are part of God’s good design in creation, that our bodies – including our sexual identity – are gifts from God, and that we should accept and care for our bodies as they were created.”

"The Church teaches that the human person is a body-soul union, and the body — created male or female — is a constitutive and integral aspect of the human person and, as such, everyone, man and woman, should acknowledge and accept his or her God-given biological sex and the sexuality that corresponds with that gift – only in this way lies a path towards an integral, sustainable and happy life.”  

In 2023, the Diocese of Lansing lodged its formal opposition to a proposal by the Michigan Supreme Court "that would compel judges to refer to attorneys and litigants by their preferred personal pronouns, even when these conflict with a person’s biological sex."

The Diocese said:

"Disregarding the truth of biological sex is no kindness and threatens to impose falsehoods upon our judicial system and, thus, undermine the very purpose of its existence: the dispensing of justice, which can only occur in accordance with truth.”

Offering love and compassion is a necessary thing.  Shading the truth while doing so is not.  It may be hurtful when these collide, but compromising on the truth is never an option, as it ultimately causes the greatest harm.

Janet Cassidy
janetcassidy.com
https://www.facebook.com/reflectionsinfaith/
https://www.youtube.com/@janetcassidy




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