10 May 2011

Can parents destroy a marriage?

Pictured Fr Sean Coyle

(I have ongoing discussions with Fr Sean Coyle about what is most important..the couple or the couple as parents? He writes a provocative piece at Bangor to Bobbio, here & below. What do you all think?)

Today's news reports the separation of a prominent American couple (not the couple in the photo at whose marriage I officiated!), both Catholics, after 25 years of marriage. Their four children range in age from 21 to 14. The couple issued this statement, part of which I emphasise:

'This has been a time of great personal and professional transition for each of us. After a great deal of thought, reflection, discussion, and prayer, we came to this decision together.

'At this time, we are living apart while we work on the future of our relationship. We are continuing to parent our four children together. They are the light and the centre of both of our lives.'

I do not know all that is behind this particular separation and clearly it wasn't done lightly. The couple in question also deserve our prayers. But I truly believe that the last sentence of their statement explains why so many marriages break up. When a couple consider being parents as more important than being spouses they are heading for deep trouble - because they are ignoring what God has called them to: oneness. Their children are the fruit of their spousal relationship of oneness.

Ctd here

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