The God in my Coffee

I had one of those lovely moments of insight and grace yesterday afternoon, which was sorely needed after the second night's disturbed sleep in a row I have been waking up feeling horribly anxious and panicky over Mum moving, and feeling I can't cope, and we haven't got enough time to get things ready! I never feel like this in the day and can always successfully deal with any anxiety very quickly! But at 3.30 in the morning, it is an entirely different experience. I feel overwhelmed, and scared and very anxious. I know all the techniques, and what works for me, but it doesn't seem to work in the middle of the night! I pray, I hand it over to God, I invite the presence of the Holy Spirit into the situation, but my mind keeps returning to whatever is bothering me. I know what the Psalmist meant when he wrote of "the terrors of the night"! In the end, all that really seems to help is to get up, make a cup of tea, sit in the garden (yes, in the wee hours!) and then go back to bed, by this time so tired I fall back to sleep instantly!

So yesterday I was feeling really glum when I woke up, a lot of it due to tiredness, but also because I couldn't seem to get a handle on this! I decided to take a break, and had a coffee in town, almost randomly grabbing a book off the bookcase to take with me. The one I chose (or chose me??) was Finding God in the Fast Lane by Joyce Hugget, which I have dipped into in the past. But on reading it while I drank my coffee, I found some real gems sparkling in her words. Too many to share here, but the one which really impressed upon me was this quote she chose:

Every day the nearness of God collected in me like rain water. I sensed Him coming and coming and coming...in a sound, a smell, a touch, a movement, in common things that shaped my day...I would stare at the most mundane things and be aware of His love. A pitcher of milk in the refrigerator, an old sweater, the steam rising off my soup, a quiet sky, an uprooted tree...all were gifts of love.
"Enjoy. Drink Me in," God seemed to say. "Find my love everywhere!"

Sue Monk Kidd in God's Joyful Surprise

...at that point as I sat there, I glanced down at my frothy cappucino, sprinkled with chocolate, and I saw the God in my coffee! The fact that I had been able to make this quiet time in my day, to enjoy a rest, to savour the taste, to take time out, to be refreshed and delighted. And as I looked up from my drink, I saw God in the tables and chairs on the terrace, God in the trees across the road, God in the dark, rain clouds on the horizon, God in the woman with a fancy handbag crossing the street. It was as if a veil had lifted and suddenly I could feel Him everywhere, in and around me, and I was blessed, and I was graced!

Somehow, through all this, the anxiety that has been hovering unseen somewhere in the background just evaporated and rose with the steam from my coffee and disappeared. So far it hasn't returned, and last night I slept through like a baby from the minute my head touched my pillow until the alarm went off at 8.15 this morning. Within is a deep and very real sense of peace, and trust, and the knowledge that I am in His hands, and all those I love are in His hands.

It will be ok