Duggar V Glee Warning Personal Opinion Post

How I don't want to enter this debate but I feel compelled to!  As far as I see it you have two ends of the pop cultural media extreme.  

One end has the Duggars who because of their faith feel that sex is for reproduction only and have the 19 plus one on the way to prove it.  Then other is Glee, (I don't enjoy Glee only saw one episode and thought it was boring), were Rachel and Blaine have their first sexual experience:
Glee Recap: "The First Time" Season 3, Episode 5
Nov 8, 2011 09:00 PM ET
by Natalie Abrams
In this week's episode of Glee, opening night for West Side Story is approaching but the leading stars have yet to really experience the type of passion they're meant to convey in the show. Blaine and Rachel's journey towards their first times are quite different, but both enlightening.
Now both of these examples are exploitative; the Duggars who want to preach to American their version of Family Value when it seems to me that they are in it for the media attention and frankly to make more money for themselves, and Glee whose producers want to make money glorifying sex.    My hubby and I have friends in Arkansas who tell us that the Duggars are very savvy business people and everything they do is very calculated.  The Duggars are revered in their community and seem to be fairly nice people, but for me...not so much.  I see Ms. Duggar abusing her reproductive nature.  She barely carried her last child to term and what will happen to this one?  As we age our bodies slow down, our reproduction takes a back seat as we reach menopause and for good reason.   My hubby and I have friends with large families; so we sat down one night with our good friends who have 13 and talked with them about this.  The mom said: "Frankly as I had more children the elder ones had to take over some of the more mundane parenting duties.  Now there is good and bad to that;  they learn something about the humdrumness that is part of parenting, but that also means I am not the one parenting.  Don't get me wrong I was MOM, but the older kids were sharing a lot of manual responsibilities, never the Parenting Duties."  My friend is no Stepford wife, no prairie long skirt mom.  She is hip and the most beautiful slim woman I know.  She has it all together.  As far as I am concerned she is the total Faithful Mom: Hip, with it, cares for herself mentally, physically, spiritually. 

Do I feel my Mom of 13 friend is wrong in her decision. No, I don't. For her and her husband this was a prayerful choice they made for their family, but where the difference is from the Duggars, for me, is that the Duggars seem to parade around to impress. There is just something icky about the Duggars that I can't get my head around. 

Which brings us to Glee, where the pendulum swings to the other side; we have two young people and the story line revolves around the staging of West Side Story and whether Rachel will turn in her V-Card.?  V-Card! Really!  Have we become so caviler about sex and its power to unite and bound that we see it as something to throw away?  In the recap it says that the young stars are having trouble finding the passion they need to portray the characters with feeling -- so she HAS to give up her "V-Card'?  What its become mandatory to give away virginity for a role?  Let me tell you there is a great deal of passion in our household with twin teen girls!  And what does that say about boys in our society, they are so weak they can't keep it in their pocket?  And girls are so wimpy they must comply?  Icky, Icky, Icky!!!

What bothers me is the polar opposites that are being projected about sex.  You are either a kook who is so controlled by your evil sex mad religious nut husband that you are having children like a machine, or you are a "normal" teen who just wants to have fun, no consequences, just good clean fun!


  1. Jackie,

    As an American I have a different view of the Duggars. And with our Army friends who had personal experience of the Duggars off camera and in their own element, that too colour my "Duggar worship".

    That is the nature of personal opinions, everyone has one but it doesn't mean everyone has to agree. In the post you will see that I believe children are a prayerful blessing, my friend with 13, but I find the Duggars icky..like too much treacle.

  2. Attack Glee all you want, but I think you are being overly harsh on the Duggars. St catherine of Sienna was one of 25 children! I know a family that size would be beyond most of us. But if they can hanle it, it really has nothing to do with the rest of us.

    How exactly is Mrs Duggar abusing her reproductive nature? Huge numbers of women abuse their reproductive nature by contracepting.

  3. I am sure that St. Catherine of Sienna would ever agree to going onto a reality show like the ones the Duggars are on. She would have too much humility and she would see her mission of proclaiming the love of God through family as one presented to each person that she would meet. The Duggars seem more like the Pharisees who would go around putting on a huge show of faith. The whole show smacks of pride.

    And I stand my opinion that there is just something off about the Duggars, something icky and treacle overly sweet!

  4. Patty- My family and I do not watch t.v. so I have never seen the Duggars, only heard A LOT about them. I have heard good things, such as they are good responsible parents and have a strong Christian marriage. But I, like you, have trouble accepting that they are worthy of the status they have been given.

    First, of all, like you said, they are putting their family on television and using their children for money. Of course, they have no debt, they are benefiting from the Hollywood industry of exploitation in the name of entertainment. Second , it does seem to me (in what I have heard)there is never any responsible discernment, or prayer, involved in the decision to add to their family. And in my opinion children should not be left to their siblings to raise. That is a parent's job and responsibility. There are many beautiful families who are very open to life and to God's plan for their family, who would make far better role models, but you will not find them on a television show.

    Children ARE a blessing, NOT a trophy, I fear maybe the Duggars have gotten just a little confused about that. I do pray for their new little one and for the 19 siblings waiting for his/her arrival, though.

  5. I really don't know anything about the Duggers but it seems as though they've been fortunate in not having poor mental or physical health in themselves or their children...
    Although I think the last baby was premature?

  6. Kari: Thank you.

    Jackie: Yes, Thank God their children are blessed with good health and their last child was a preemie.

  7. Well, I totally disagree with this post. If we don't have people like the Duggars who are willing to share their lives in the t.v. real, we are left with Snooki on the Jersey Shore and the Kardashians. I think it took a lot of guts for the Duggars to do this and I think they share their family in a wholesome and family friendly way. It's one show I'm never afraid to have on when my kids are in the room.

    I don't know how you make the judgement that the Duggars only have sex to procreate. I've watched the show for a long time and it's clear to me that Michelle and Jim Bob have a deep and abiding love for one another.

    Lastly, I had my last child at the age of 46. She was born perfectly fine with no problems and I was okay too. If I followed your logic, she never should have been conceived - after all her sister was born via emergency C-section and almost died and it took me a year or so to fully recover from that Two years later I gave birth to a stillborn son. So obviously I should have been done.

    But God had other plans and Rosie is here. Frankly the rest of your post sounds a little bit like gossip and I'm more than a little shocked to read it here.

  8. Elena,

    What is the most basic reason someone goes onto reality TV: To be noticed, to get paid, to require some sort of fame.

    Secondary reasons are to push an agenda, to make a point, to let people in on their views.

    I still stand with the statement that I think for the Duggars their efforts all smacks of pride, they seem to me to be more like the Pharisees who enjoyed the notoriety their "religious" piety gave them.

    And I would be very interested in what you have to say to Kari who said "...Second , it does seem to me (in what I have heard)there is never any responsible discernment, or prayer, involved in the decision to add to their family. And in my opinion children should not be left to their siblings to raise. That is a parent's job and responsibility. There are many beautiful families who are very open to life and to God's plan for their family, who would make far better role models, but you will not find them on a television show."

    In fact Kari thank you for the blog post idea for Spiritual Lives Of Women responsible discernment and how important it is for moms!

  9. Patty- I am anxious to read your post on responsible discernment. It is such an important thing for all Christians to be aware of and, unfortunately, not something enough of us do well.

    Thank you for allowing me to be a part of this discussion. It is fascinating to hear everyone's different perspectives.

    God Bless

  10. Kari,
    I will let everyone know when I do! Interesting how discern takes into account all the diverse opinions, thoughts and resources just as this very active discussion of the Duggars!

    In fact a bit I have started with the post Domestic church



  11. An interesting debate! I expect it was imprudent of me to go for my 10th baby (12th pregnancy) re an emergency c section with the 9th..I suffered severe post natal depression with the last which lastest many years & affected the whole family but I don't regret it & we have a beautiful 11 year old Jacinta..these decisions are diificult..

  12. Patty,

    I don't think you know enough about the Duggars to discern that their primary reason for doing the show is pride. As a Christian are we not to believe the best about people until proven otherwise? The Duggars have said that they wanted to do the show to show the joys of large family life and to share their Christian faith. I see no reason not to take them at face value. I would challenge you to find a quote or a clip from the show - a primary resource to back up your statement.

    As for Kari's remark I would say unless she is in the bedroom with them, she has no idea what type of discernment goes into their lovemaking or family planning. They have publicly said that they have felt it was their call to be open to the blessing of children, that they felt shattered by their miscarriage and that each of their children are a blessing. Who are we to say they got it wrong? If anything the worst that could be said is that they err on the side of generosity - oh that we all should be so generous!

    Secondly the Duggars older kids do help with the younger ones but they do not "raise them." There is nothing wrong with this. In fact 100 years ago, when my grandfather was living in his family as the 2nd of 10 children, he not only looked out for his younger siblings but he was also plowing behind a yoke of two big work horses, hunting with his brother for dinner and driving a team into town for supplies - all before the age of 14! The sociology of the "teen years" came much later and I'm not sure we are all the better for it!

    The oldest Duggar sons run businesses and two of the girls are pursuing paramedic training. I know some of the college age kids are pursuing college educations via College Plus - as is my own son.

    In the spirit of friendly constructive criticism I really think you have been uncharitable in your post about the Duggar family and I hope that you will consider that.

  13. Jackie this is an interesting debate!

    Everyone of us have stories of that might be very important to share with other mothers on the blog and else where. One of the greatest things that come from debates and sharing of wisdom is how each of deals and dealt with difficult situations and that gives hope to those who might be struggling.

    I am a mom with a heart condition which made every pregnancy a discernment moment, expect the last one, our twinnie girls were God's surprise to us and what a surprise.

    With my heart condition and problems with the placenta I could not carry them to full term. I remember being rushed to the hospital and being told that I was now on bed rest. Complications happened and the twins and I were rushed to an emergency C-section. I was having minutes away from a stroke, the girls were two to five minutes away from womb death.

  14. I'm sorry that you had that trauma Patty. Emergency c-sections are certainly very scary. Mine was for umbilical cord prolapse.

    Mrs. Duggar's condition of pre-eclampsia is not necessarily one that will repeat. She had it for her second one and then was fine with all of her other pregnancies until her last one with Josie. Her problems with that pregnancy started with her gallbladder which has since been removed. I understand that in preparation for this pregnancy she started working out on an elliptical and taking special care with her diet and of course she is being monitored very carefully. Hopefully with these precautions in place Baby Duggar will have a relatively undramatic delivery.

  15. We have really exhausted the discussion of the Duggars, and it is clear there are some of us who truly identify with them, and there are those of us who hold a very different prayerful opinion. It is now time to put the discussion to bed, and when one thing ends another is given the room to grow.

    I suggest that we share our most blessed birthing stories. What a wonderful way to remember Mary and her pregnancy with Our Lord by sharing our own Yes to the calling of Mother.

  16. I would suggest that an equally important topic would be how to hold a prayerful opinion. You put forth points, I countered them, you didn't respond. That's not a debate or a discussion. It's simply point and counter point.

    Perhaps the best way to really end the discussion would be to refer readers to primary sources. The Duggars have a web site.Michelle writes a blog. They also have their own show on TLC and have authored two books,

    The Duggars: 20 and Counting!: Raising One of America's Largest Families--How they Do It
    A Love That Multiplies: An Up-Close View of How They Make it Work

    Go to the primary sources - always the best way to make discernments.

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  18. Hey ladies! All opinions are valid! there is in my opinion a lot to be emulated from the Duggars... There may be aspects also we don't like.. It takes courage to open yr family to public scrutiny & it is good to have "heroes" to learn from.
    Not everyone has to like them..
    There is this virtue of humility & silence which is often attractive but we can use the new media today to promote Christian principles..
    A few thoughts...
    Whilst we hope to avoid controversy on ACWB sometimes airing opinions on pertinent subjects is helpful..
    Take what u like & leave the rest!


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