'Long ago I used to be a young man and dear Margaret remembers that for me.' National Week of Prayer and Awareness of Dementia, 12-19 March

Long ago I used to be a young man

and dear Margaret remembers that for me.

The Dutchman is a song written by Michael Peter Smith in 1968. It's about an elderly couple living in Amsterdam, Margaret and the title character. The unnamed Dutchman has dementia and Margaret cares for him with a sadness over what has happened to him over the years. It's a story of unconditional love.

Portrait of an Old Man with Beard, van Gogh, December 1885 (Web Gallery of Art)

I became involved with The Pastoral Care Project in the Archdiocese of Birmingham, England, while based in the Columban house in Solihull from September 2000 to April 2002 when I moved to Glasgow, Scotland, though I stayed there for only a few months before returning to the Philippines. The mission statement of the Project is above. I first got involved when the founder of the Project, Mrs Frances Molloy, invited me to celebrate Mass in a home for old people.

The mission statement of the Project is above. The focus is on the spiritual needs of those who are frail, especially mentally. The Project also works with carers, not all of whom would understand the spiritual needs of those they are looking after. And the carers themselves need some care too as their work can be very demanding.

Michael Peter Smith's song, sung with such feeling by the late Liam Clancy and Tommy Makem, captures something of what is asked of those taking care of a person with dementia, who is very often a spouse or a parent, in the lines, Long ago I used to be a young man / and dear Margaret remembers that for me.

The Project is holding a National Week of Prayer and Awareness of Dementia. One of the activities suggested is Bake 'n' Share. Those taking part are asked to Create something whereby your visit with an elderly person focuses on their interests. The visit can become a hub of activity generating memories of the moment and a feeling of fulfilment.

It doesn't have to be baking but something the older person can be involved in and that will give a sense of purpose to that person, a sense of continuity with the past. The visitorremembers that for me.

I studied Shakespeare's As You Like It in school. (Stratford-on-Avon is in the Archdiocese of Birmingham and not far from the office of The Pastoral Care Project.) I always liked the famous speech of Jacques, The Seven Ages of Man or All the world's a stage. But a 15-year-old cannot understand the closing lines in the way Richard Pasco does here: 

Last scene of all, 

That ends this strange eventful history,  

Is second childishness and mere oblivion,  

Sans teeth, sans eyes, sans taste, sans everything.

All the world's a stage,
And all the men and women merely players;
They have their exits and their entrances,
And one man in his time plays many parts,
His acts being seven ages. At first, the infant,
Mewling and puking in the nurse's arms.
Then the whining schoolboy, with his satchel
And shining morning face, creeping like snail
Unwillingly to school. And then the lover,
Sighing like furnace, with a woeful ballad
Made to his mistress' eyebrow. Then a soldier,
Full of strange oaths and bearded like the pard,
Jealous in honor, sudden and quick in quarrel,
Seeking the bubble reputation
Even in the cannon's mouth. And then the justice,
In fair round belly with good capon lined,
With eyes severe and beard of formal cut,
Full of wise saws and modern instances;
And so he plays his part. The sixth age shifts
Into the lean and slippered pantaloon,
With spectacles on nose and pouch on side;
His youthful hose, well saved, a world too wide
For his shrunk shank, and his big manly voice,
Turning again toward childish treble, pipes
And whistles in his sound. Last scene of all,
That ends this strange eventful history,
Is second childishness and mere oblivion,
Sans teeth, sans eyes, sans taste, sans everything.

Portrait of an Old Woman, Peter Bruegel the Elder, c.1564 (Web Gallery of Art)

Prayer for Healthcare Professionals © 

O Lord we pray for all those whose work is dedicated 
to the assessment and care of those who experience 
confusion and profound memory loss. 
For all who work as Healthcare Professionals in 
everyday care and research into the causes of 
Dementia of many kinds. 
May they be strengthened in their work of service 
with individuals, families and friends. 
Through Jesus Christ our Lord. 
Amen. 

Written in 2009 for the Pastoral Care Project by Rev’d Canon Edward Pogmore, 
Chaplain Co-ordinator, The George Eliot Hospital NHS Trust and North Warwickshire Primary Care Trust.

The following is a press release by the Pastoral Care Project. Bishop David Christopher McGough is an auxiliary bishop of the Archdiocese of Birmingham.

National Week of Prayer and Awareness of Dementia takes place 12th – 19th March 2013 and it is the initiative of the Pastoral Care Project.

Introducing the forthcoming Week, Bishop McGough, lead Bishop for the Pastoral CareProject said, "I am pleased to commend the national week of prayer and awareness of dementia. Few of us can imagine the isolation, and consequent anxiety, that this affliction brings both to those who suffer and their families. Through prayer let us ground ourselves in our communion with the Lord, making ourselves one with the many who suffer and those who care for them."

Everyone can participate in this week by visiting  www. pastoralcareproject.org.uk using the resources to organise an event or to join in existing event locally.    

Frances Molloy, Project Manager would like to thank everyone who gave their support last year and is hopeful that this years’ event will be supported more widely.  “It is an important week for people with dementia and for our charity, so, whether you purchase Prayer Cards or  host an event you will be helping to raise awareness and you will be supporting the ongoing work of the Pastoral Care Project.  These are difficult times which have also impacted on the people with dementia and their carers; so making use of these resources may bring about new initiatives in parishes and help to reduce the isolation.  

Reducing isolation is ongoing and to get started we are launching Bake and Share. “wonderful scones mummy used to make”  Face book message.

When you think of home made scones, what memories arise? Bake and Share is a simple way to foster parish friendships and  visit the sick and housebound. What about their carers, and their needs?  Visiting with freshly baked scones; shared over a pot of tea is an enriching experience.

This new initiative has been adopted by  Communitas - an inter-faith project. Their Coffee Morning on 14^th at English Martyrs’, Birmingham will combine Prayer, baking and selling scones to raise funds for the Pastoral Care Project.

Another  known event; Camplehaye Care Home in Devon will be having an ecumenical service on Friday 15^th for the residents, relatives and staff to pray and share friendship followed by Devonshire Cream Tea.

Schools – a few to date in the UK holding special assemblies. Our Lady of the Angel’s Infant School and St Joseph’s Junior School will be contributing to the liturgy and music for the Mass celebrated by Bishop David McGough Our Lady of the Angels, Nuneaton for the deanery on Wednesday 13th March at 11.00am. Prayer intentions for the and the week  should be sent to the Pastoral Care Project.

At the Pastoral Care Project we are often asked how parishes can respond to  dementia.  One  example where a parish visiting team offers lunch after the regular first Friday Mass. This helps overcome isolation and also provides opportunities for parishioners to contribute; through baking, or serving.

For those whose interest is music and leading services there are also online resources. Music touches people at a very deep level and so sensitivity to the choice of music or hymns is important because of the memories evoked.

Hymns which they would have sung at Mass are helpful; times when they felt God was very close, confirmed by one carer so wisely said “People with dementia have an awareness of God – God is also aware of them.” 

Carers too need support. When a former elderly carer whose wife with dementia was hospitalised he would visit and help feed her and give her drinks and ensure she was well cared for, even though he was frail himself. He would sing songs, hymns and pray with her. After her death he found comfort  through praying and writing poetry; by donating the poems to the Pastoral Care Project he felt solidarity with people with dementia and those in similar caring situations.

The Washing of the Feet, Sieger Koder

The following poem was composed by him as he reflected on the painting of the Washing of the Feet by Sieger Koder during one of the Pastoral Care Projects’ Quiet Day for Carers.

The Water of your Blessing©

Do not kneel, My Lord.
It is for me to kneel
At your feet.
With your loving hands you
Touch my feet…
Loving, gentle hands
Which made those who ail and hurt
Whole and well.
You washed your feet with
Water cool and soothing…
The water of your
Blessings.
You dried my feet with
Linen pure; and gentleness.
But infinitely you washed
My heart…
A heart ‘oft grieved and saddened.
You drew me close and called me Son,
And filled me with your grace,
Your great Amen

The Week of Prayer and Awareness of Dementia 12-19^th March involves us all – for everyone knows someone who is affected by dementia. Think about dementia?  You can’t help but get involved in some small way to make a difference to someone? Baking a few scones, sharing with a neighbour or sell to friends and raise a few desperately needed pounds for the Pastoral Care Project . You will be helping others through us to create opportunities to make the lives of people with dementia more fulfilling

Parishes are contacting regularly to update the events calendar, for example, All Hallows in Miskin, Cardiff diocese are having a mass on 19^th March the feast of St Joseph a lovely closing to the week of prayer. 

We will help where we can, or let us know what your parish or school might be organising? For further information or donations please contact Frances Molloy, Project Manager at the Pastoral Care Project, St Gerard’s, Coventry Road, Coleshill, B46 3ED, telephone 01675 434035, www.pastoralcareproject.org.uk email info@pastoralcareproject.org.uk