Strengthening Your Family Culture and Identity

I’ve been thinking a lot about the concept of family culture and identity recently. Partially because, with two rapidly growing children and a third ready to pop out, our own family identity is developing more and more, without us even focusing on it. As our kids grow, their individual personalities and likes and interests are emerging more and more, but so are some common characteristics – things that don’t apply only to one individual, but clearly reflect our family. A family culture and sense of identity is bound to occur, whether or not we focus on it. I’d rather focus on it and make it intentional in order to make sure that the culture we end up with is a culture we want and value.

As an international family, both by virtue of moving around and by virtue of an inter-cultural marriage, I have come to appreciate greatly the reality of having a family culture. No matter where we live and what societal culture we form a part of, there are things we agree with and things that just don’t sync, whether because of religious, political or ideological differences, or simply because we just don’t connect with certain traditions or ways of behaving. I have found this to be true not only abroad, but also in my own country. Sure, I still consider myself to be an American. But does that mean I really identify myself with modern American culture? If I were to even attempt to define modern American culture, could I? Would my definition be the same as yours? Probably not. There might be some shared ideas, but there would also be a lot of different ideas, depending on what sub-cultures and individual perspectives we come from.

The best place for our kids to learn who they are and define their own identity is in the family. The family is their immediate support system, and the structure God put in place to give each of us a loving and caring environment that helps us develop as an individual while learning how to be an effective member of a community. What we learn in our family ultimately affects how we interface with broader social realities, and how we think about ourselves. It gives us the foundation we need to later understand how we fit into other aspects of identity, such as nationality, culture and religion.  A positive family culture can be empowering, challenging and fulfilling. But that doesn’t happen magically. It takes intentionality and effort.

For specific ways to help strengthen your family culture and identity, head over to Eyes On Heaven.