Reasons to Forgive Even When It Seems Impossible

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As a Bible-loving Christian and practicing Catholic, I have many reasons to believe in the importance of forgiving others. But even if we put aside “theology”, I believe our common human experience gives us several reasons why we should all forgive people who offend us.

 It’s quite possible that no offense was intended. Think for a moment about how many times you have unintentionally offended someone. Then think of how many times you have deliberately offended someone else just to hurt them. My guess is that the first number is significantly larger than the second. Now think of how many times you’ve been offended. Is it possible that you are upset about unintentional offenses? If so, why further the conflict instead of forgiving the person and moving on?
If you knew all your transgressor has been through, you would probably feel more pity than anger. When a person does lash out, deliberately intended to hurt another person, it usually means they themselves have been deeply hurt. This does not justify their behavior, but it can make it easier for us to understand their behavior and recognize that they are deeply in need of healing and holding a grudge against them doesn’t help. Anger begets anger and violence begets violence. Refusal to forgive perpetuates the harm done. The void created by one injury will never be filled with more emptiness. Forgiveness breaks a cycle of conflict, thereby at least opening the doors to future healing and reconciliation. Whether accepted or not, forgiveness sends the message that the other person has a dignity and is worth something. Many people desperately need to hear this message.

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